How to Submit to a Less Than Perfect Husband


Before I tell you my story, I want to make sure that you know that my husband may not be a perfect man, but he is a good man, a godly man even. He makes mistakes…big mistakes…but who doesn’t?

And you need to know that I love him, and I am absolutely sure that he loves me.

Now, the story. But where to start…

I really couldn’t believe this was happening again. I couldn’t believe it when it happened the first time. But let me tell you about the first time.

There was a famine in our land, and being practically gypsies, we broke camp and headed south looking for a place where the famine hadn’t come. We wandered all the way down into Egypt.

Now, my husband had heard stories about the people of Egypt – especially the princes of Pharaoh – and he was a little bit anxious. Maybe more than anxious. He was afraid that when the Egyptian princes got a look at me, they would kill him to get me. Now, I’m not bragging – it’s just a fact that I was considered to be quite a beautiful woman back then. Maybe you can see why the dear man was concerned.

I think I could have come up with a better plan, but this is the one Abram came up with. He said to me, “Dear wife, do me this little favor. When people ask who you are and what relation you are to me, please say that you are my sister.”

It really wasn’t a lie. I am his half sister. That’s not the problem. Perhaps you, like me, can see the problem. However, my mama taught me well. Respect your husband. Obey your husband.

And I can see you rolling your eyes about now. Respect him when he’s acting like a chicken? Obey him when he’s going to get you both in trouble?

My mama isn’t the only one who taught me some life lessons. This God that Abram had been following? He taught me a few things too. Back to that later.

So, sure enough, the princes of Pharaoh took one look and packed me off to the palace. I have to say that I was a little beside myself. What did Abram think was going to happen? Had he even considered what would surely happen to me? Didn’t he care that his wife was about to spend the rest of her life in an Egyptian harem? I expected to be called to the bedchamber of one of the princes at any moment.

But, instead, the weirdest thing happened. Pharaoh’s household began to suffer from all kinds of plagues – disgusting boils and sores, unexplained aches and pains, stomach problems. And guess who was the only one who stayed healthy through it all? Me.

Who do you think was behind all that?

The truth that I was Abram’s wife came out and Pharaoh sent a messenger to Abram. Before you know it I was on my way back to our tent along with a lot of presents which were meant to convince Abram to get out of Egypt.

Lesson learned. Right?

Time passed and God kept talking to Abram and to me too. God even made us a promise. We would have a son. Pretty incredible when you consider how old we were by then – 90 for me and 99 for him. Life was good!

Then the wander bug bit Abram again. We pulled up stakes and took off for the land of Gerar.

And – deja vu! History began to repeat itself.

I know – you’re saying, “Surely, Sarai, you put up a fight this time? Surely you at least reminded him about what happened the last time?”

I did try to very respectfully remind him, but I’m pretty sure he never heard a word. He just said, “Sarai, my darling, do me this little favor…”

And off I went to the house of Abimelech.

After a couple of months, Abimelech began to see that none of the women of his household – his wife and his female slaves – were getting pregnant. Curious and a bit worrisome.

The situation quickly became more than worrisome when God talked to Abimelech in a dream and threatened to kill him if he didn’t return me to Abram. The very next morning Abram was brought to Abimelech who was more than a little perturbed with Abram.

“What have you done to us? And how have I sinned against you, that you have brought on me and my kingdom a great sin? You have done to me things that ought not to be done.” (Genesis 20:9)

Of course, Abimelech was right. But after he calmed down he remembered that God had also told him that Abram was a prophet who could pray for the healing of the wombs of the women of his house.

When I heard Abimelech say that God had told him that Abram was a prophet, I knew again that God was taking care of the problem Abram caused.

God was taking care of me even when my husband was making kind of crazy decisions.

No matter what Abram did…no matter what I did…no matter what foreign kings did…God was in control.

Because God was in control…because I could trust Him implicitly…I could also be obedient and respectful and submissive to my imperfect husband.

So…how do you submit to a less than perfect husband? The one that is making decisions that you know are going to go bad?

Do what I did and trust God.

He’s got it.


This is the fourth story in the series: Through Her Eyes. Click here to find the rest of the series.






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I Need God to Speak to Me

When I was a young Christian, I had a friend who seemed to have a vibrant, exciting relationship with God that was far beyond my own experience. When she talked about God it was as if He actually sat down beside her in her living room every morning and had a chat with her. Whenever she needed something, it seemed that God always provided it and more.

My friend even had a special prayer language that she could use to speak only to God.

The idea of a prayer language put me off a little, but I really did want God to speak to me as he spoke to my friend – like two friends out for coffee on a Saturday morning. Surely my friend had gone spiritually deeper than I ever had. And surely that meant that I was missing something in my spiritual walk.

It wasn’t until my friend had led me a good ways down the path of the prosperity gospel that I began to see that maybe my impressions of my friend’s spirituality were not based in fact.

Many years later, after I had grown much more in Christ, I was in a group when the question came up – “Does God speak to you?”

I was amazed to hear Christian people saying that God did not speak to them very much or at all. After a little more conversation, I realized that many of the people in the group were wanting to hear from God in the same way that my friend had claimed to hear from God. They wanted to hear His voice…to hear His specific words for their specific situations…to hear words straight from His mouth and straight to their ears, words that no one else heard.

Unfortunately, I was in introvert mode and so said nothing. To be honest, I was even wondering if something was wrong with me and my relationship with God. I was not expecting to hear a special word from God. I was not expecting Him to speak a specific message for me into my ears.

Instead, I was thinking, “What about His Word – His written Word to us?”

I didn’t say it then. I let myself be intimidated by those who did speak. I hid behind my introvert identity. But now I am saying it.

God has given us His Word with purpose and intent. Every word in the Bible is God speaking to you and to me. It is the written revelation of God Himself. We don’t need anything else.

We don’t need other people to tell us what God has supposedly spoken directly to them. We don’t need someone to imagine for us what heaven is like. We don’t need God portrayed as our best buddy who sits and has coffee with us.

Instead we need to be content with God’s chosen methods of communication with us – His creation that makes His eternal power and divine nature clear and His Word which was written that we might believe that Jesus is the Christ, and that believing we might have life in His name.

Yes, I want to hear from God, and I do hear from God every morning when I open up His Word with a heart and mind that are ready to listen and obey. Yes, I do read books that people have written about God and about His Word, but I read through the lens of the Scripture that I have been eating and digesting for the past thirty-seven years.

The Word, though old in years, is never old. It is always new. God never fails to speak through His Word to His people.

When you need God to speak to you, go to His Word for you.

Simplistic? Not really. Simple? Yes, so…what’s stopping you?

Open it up every day and listen to Him speak to you.



What Can Fill My Empty Wells?

Jeremiah 2:13

…for my people have committed two evils:
they have forsaken me,
the fountain of living waters,
and hewed out cisterns for themselves,
broken cisterns that can hold no water. (ESV)

Have you dug empty wells trying to satisfy your own needs? The question has been with me since a women’s retreat last weekend.

Wells that never fill up, wells that leak because they are broken.

Wells that cannot satisfy the thirst for acceptance or being truly known or escape from pain or love or any other need we may feel.

Wells that gradually reveal themselves as idols in our lives.

Wells that are a sorry imitation of the real thing. Wells that will always be empty.

So, what can fill my empty wells? Nothing.

The wells I dug are broken – beyond repair – unable to hold water.

I must abandon them and turn to the well of living water. The only water that can satisfy. The water that can fill up my emptiness.

Turning back to the God who understands my emptiness – the God who emptied Himself for me – is the only way to true satisfaction.

And that well never leaks, never fails in the driest summer.

Always sweet.

Always satisfying.


I’m joining my friends at Five Minute Friday in writing about the prompt word – Empty. Come and join in on the fun!


photography from Pixabay,

My Husband – A Very Important Man

No matter what my husband’s stuck-up relatives think, he is an important man here in Sodom. He sits with the other leaders of the town in the city gate. He helps to make the decisions here, so, you see, he is a very important man.

Now, of course, my dear husband is not a native of Sodom. He’s from a place far to the east of us. I know he told me about it once, but really, it can’t compare to Sodom. He never talks about that place anymore – never really talks about his family either.

His family – well, I’ve never met them. Don’t really want to. We hear rumors about them. Abram this and Abram that. I can’t see that he’s all that wonderful. Sure, he has lots of cattle and sheep and goats and camels and plenty of land, but my husband has plenty of all of that too. He owns more land than any of the other men in Sodom. And no one has even tried to count his livestock.

Yes, my husband, Lot, is a very important man.

I remember when he first came to Sodom. He was young and handsome. He dressed so well and he was free with his money. All the girls were looking and all the mamas were plotting. Much good it did any of them. He chose me. And why wouldn’t he? My family has been in Sodom forever and the men in my family have always been leaders. It was only natural that such an interesting young bachelor should look to our family for a wife.

Of course, his family had nothing to do with our marriage – apparently they never wanted him to come to Sodom. Not good enough for a member of Abram’s family, I suppose. Can you imagine? Sodom is a great city, a city with history, a city with culture, a city with everything you could want, an important city. Why wouldn’t a man like my esteemed husband be drawn to a city like Sodom?

And why should I care if a foreigner like Abram didn’t care to come to my wedding?

We’ve actually heard that Abram worships only one God. How absurd. Who does he think he is to neglect all the other gods?

And, yes, I’ve heard that old story about how Abram supposedly rescued Lot from his enemies. I am confident that my husband did not need his help. Showboating – that’s all it was. Trying to make a name for himself at the expense of my husband’s reputation. Who needs Abram or his one God?

After all, my husband is a very important man.

Last night? You’ve heard about that? Well, yes, last night was rather odd.

My husband found two strangers at the city gate and brought them home with them. Nothing extraordinary about that. Important men like Lot often entertain travelers. But, after dinner there was quite a racket at the door. A group of men wanted the strangers to come out. They just wanted to talk and perhaps have a drink together – just show the strangers a good time while they were in town.

But Lot got all upset about it and said that they were acting wickedly. I don’t know what he was thinking, but I have a feeling it had something to do with Abram’s God. I thought he had given up all of that. It’s very confusing because the next thing he said was that he would give the men our daughters instead. Why was it wrong to send the strangers out, but acceptable to send our own daughters out there?

I don’t understand at all.

Lot nearly got himself killed last night when the crowd got angry and tried to pull him out of the house. The two strangers pulled him back in and slammed the door. I was beginning to be frightened so I took my daughters into the back room and we hid. I could hear the voices of my husband and the strangers through the night and I’m pretty sure Lot went out in the middle of the night, but I could not hear the conversations and I couldn’t imagine what Lot was doing.

And now the sun has come up and I still don’t know what is happening.

There! Lot is calling us.

We must leave the city? It’s going to be destroyed? Destroyed by whom?

Abram’s God? Don’t be ridiculous! The gods of Sodom will protect us. I’m not going anywhere.

Yes, that’s what I said, but Lot ignored me and now here we are running across the plain with only a small bag of food – everything else left behind. The strangers are pulling us along.

We are leaving Sodom, my beautiful hometown! We are leaving my lovely, big home – the best in all of Sodom! We are leaving our position as the most important family in Sodom! And all because of the threats of some make-believe God?

And Lot says that we mustn’t look back. That I must never see my home again. Never see my family again. Has he completely lost his mind?

Does he really expect me to believe his uncle’s God? Does he expect me to give up everything for this God?

No, no, no!

I will look back…

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